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Writer's pictureAleksandar Tosevski

Do Not Argue with Reality - You Can't Win

Arguing with reality is a losing battle. We spend all our mental and emotional energy resisting what is, and so we can't move forward into clarity, strength, and purpose. Reality can often be difficult to accept or uncomfortable to endure, but it does have to be accepted anyway; trying to hide from or deny it, the frustration, anger, and disappointment caused will imprison us.


Do Not Argue

Why We Argue with Reality


Not wanting something, or not being in control, is the natural sequence of resistance in human beings. We attach ourselves to the idea of how life 'should be', and if this does not happen, we fight the outcome. Whether personal failure, loss, or life beyond our grasp, arguing with reality is a detour to avoid the pain of acceptance. Resistance, however, amplifies the suffering.


Denial of Uncomfortable Truths

Sometimes, living in denial is easier than the hard reality of being faced with the situation. It's easy to argue with reality as sometimes, admitting to reality and its realizations often equates to being uncomfortable, failing in a situation, or being thrown into uncertainty. However, refusal of reality does not change anything but will only protract it.


Control because

Basically, arguing with reality is a ploy to try to control the things that are beyond our control. We somehow feel that if we argue with the way things are, we can get them to change. But this investment of energy leads only to frustration, because reality does not bend to our will or wish.


Attachment to Expectations

We resist when reality doesn't behave as it should. We get attached to the way things ought to be and can't accept the way things are. Attachment keeps us stuck, since we cannot change our circumstances or move with our changing lives.


The Power of Acceptance


Accepting reality is not about giving up or being passive; it's about recognizing the truth of a situation and responding to it with strength and clarity. Obviously, acceptance does not mean you like or approve of reality; it only means you acknowledge it. Once you accept what is, you free yourself from the emotional turmoil of resistance and can begin to take meaningful action.


Clarity and Freedom

When you stop arguing with reality, you are clear. You see things the way they are, not as you argue they should be. This clarity allows you to make better decisions and move on. The power of acceptance frees you from the draining tendency to focus on things you cannot control.


Emotional Resilience

Acceptance cultivates emotional resilience. Life will always have its challenges, and within that fact comes the acceptance that equips you with a disposition to face those challenges with grace and strength. It helps you navigate through your difficult emotions and find peace amidst adversity.


Empowerment to Act

When you accept reality, it enables you to act. Rather than get entangled in "what ifs" or "should have beens," you can ask yourself, "What now?" Acceptance puts you in a position of responsibility where you can take constructive steps toward improving your situation.


How to Stop Arguing with Reality


Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness teaches you the art of observing reality without judgment; you accept what is happening at that moment without entangling it with your feelings.


Let Go of Expectations

When you let go of inflexible expectations, you come to learn to flow with life. Where there is flexibility, changes can easily be effected without resistance. Focus on what you can control: your mindset, your reactions, and your actions.


Embracing Impermanence

Change is an integral part of life; nothing remains permanent. Impermanence helps in accepting reality with the fact that even desperate situations are temporary and will pass.


Acceptance as a Way toward Peace


You can't argue with reality; it saps your energy and may keep you in a frustrating cycle. As soon as you accept reality, you align yourself with the truth and open the door to peace, growth, and empowerment. Acceptance is not easy, but it's basically the linchpin for moving forward with clarity and purpose.


Remember that no one can win against reality, but surely he can thrive with it. The moment he stops fighting what 'is' and starts working with it, he gets more resilient, capable, and agile, creating a much better future.


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